I probably shouldn’t be posting so early in the evening. Something is bound to happen. But for now, I am going to vent.
As I sit in a waiting room, I can’t stop thinking about all the different parenting blogs and articles that I have read since adopting three beautiful kids.
- Love and logic
- Choose only one thing to work on at a time
- Learn to let things go
- Let kids pout and be disapointed
- Give 4 positives to 1 negative
- Do not lecture
- Acknowledge your child’s emotions and feelings
And so on it goes…
Please tell me I’m not the only one that reads these articles and blogs and think, “Well… I’ve totally screwed my kids up!” And then go into a frenzy trying to make up for all the damage??? Anyone? There’s got to be a mom out there who thinks the same way I do.
Or are you also like me and think there’s way too much going on for me to constantly worry about how I’m talking to my kids 24/7. I mean… I’m human right?
I do have a small fear. That since my kids are adopted, I fear they will leave me when they are 18. I have told them they can if they really want to but that I will always be their mom and do their laundry on the weekends. I will never stop loving them and mothering them. My youngest says she’s never leaving. My middle child just stares at me probably counting down the seconds until he’s 18. And my oldest just wants to go to college.
What if the way we handle situations as parents affects our children as adults? What if the way we talk to them affects how they see themselves? What if the way we talk to our kids affect how they interact with us?
Now, hear me out. I know there are psychological things that occur in a child’s brain that affects how they talk and deal with certain emotions. But why do I still get so impatient at times?! I know that it took me a while to come around and realize that my parents were right and that I was a total ass hole to them. But that doesn’t make me feel better. I seriously loathe watching my kids make the same mistakes I made. I try to instill my wisdom on them, but to no avail. Sucks.
And then there’s this:
“Kids are much like us only they are at the beginning of their journey.” –Floyd Hawkins, Fort Osage School Board
My heart should ache with compassion towards my kids because of how limited they are on the beginning of their journey, not harp on them, lecture, or make them feel bad because they forgot to flush. But seriously I have told you 79382739847 times to flush the toilet. So now, I’m just pissed. But why do I get so upset about those little things? Maybe it’s because I have said it 28374028374 times?? Maybe??
But when a kid hears this all they can think of is:
- “I can’t do this.”
- “I’ll never be good enough.”
- “I never do anything right.”
But to me it’s common sense. FLUSH THE TOILET! Can someone please right an easy to follow hand book so that our home can be rainbows and butterflies all the time? HA!!! HA!!!! HA!!!!!! (I’m literally laughing out loud right now. Literally.)
Oh and I know that veteran parents that have already raised their kids into adults are taking deep sighs as they read this. But seriously… it’s what’s on my mind with my pre-teen and teens. Can’t help it. Yow!
But I seriously LOVE motherhood!!!! 🙂 ❤ It’s the hardest job I’ve ever loved doing.
Until next time,