I miss my balls…

Just when I thought I couldn’t get any worse as a hot mess mom, I do. I have relented to taking showers every two days. I’m only shaving once a week. I have been spot cleaning my jeans with really yummy smelling soaps from Bath and Body Works so I feel like it’s better than washing. My kids are back to wearing dirty clothes off the floor (I had such a good system for laundry when school started. That’s over.)

Dinner has now consisted of the following:

Monday: pasta something

Tuesday: Mexican something

Wednesday: salad night

Thursday: breakfast for dinner

Friday: pizza

Saturday and Sunday: whatever is in the fridge or maybe something fancy like baked chicken (ha. ha.)

At least we aren’t having chicken nugs and mac n’cheese once a week anymore. My husband is happy about that.

And then we have weeks like this week. It’s parent teacher conferences for me and I seriously love meeting my students’ parents and sharing how awesome their kiddos are, but my family at home gets neglected. Since my loving husband is in charge of feeding my family this week, I hit the frozen food section at the grocery store and I hit it hard. I’m talking, hot pockets, waffles, pizza, more hot pockets (I have a lot of kids to feed), and bananas. I had to get something healthy right? I was actually embarrassed when I loaded up the conveyor belt. I tried to avoid eye contact with the checker outer girl for fear of judgement. But I honestly can’t help it.

I used to LOVE to cook. Trying new recipes was my favorite thing to do. It also was my husbands favorite thing I did. We ate healthier. We tried new things. Now it’s whatever I can muster up the energy to throw in the oven, set a timer, and forget about. We are gaining weight and the kids are starting to get picky because we aren’t trying new things. I see moms posting on Facebook or Instagram pictures of their five-course meals and I’m thinking…. wow…. that’s exciting and yummy. But…uh… we’re having hot pockets tonight. Gourmet cuisine for my family. Only the best frozen food will do.

Last week, I was exhausted because it was a Wednesday. For some reason Wednesdays wipe me out; truly suck the life out of me. So what was for dinner? Well it wasn’t salad night because I didn’t feel like chopping the fresh romaine. I’m too cheap to buy romaine already chopped. So I raided the freezer. We had two open bags of french fries, a ton of milk, cereal, and bagels; and that’s what we had for dinner. French fries, cereal, and bagels. Yum. My kids looked at me like I was crazy.

Me: I’m sorry guys, but this is what’s for dinner. Enjoy.

Oldest boy: It’s no big deal.

Me: No really, I’m like the worst mom ever.

Oldest boy: No you’re not! This is great!

Youngest daughter: We’re having cereal?! And french fries?!

Me: Yes, eat it or don’t. I don’t care.

Middle son: I miss my balls.

Me: I’m sorry, what?!

Middle son: Ya know, the chocolate balls cereal. I miss my balls.

My husband, oldest son, and I look at each other and lose it.

Me: I will pick up your balls on Saturday when I go to the grocery store.


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