making out with walls

Oh sweet, sweet evening hours before and after dinner. When our voices get hoarse from all the talking (really it’s yelling but I don’t want to sound like one of those moms…. okay so maybe I am… a little… not all the time though… just Monday through Thursday), when the bags under our eyes get a little bit heavier, that’s when things get really interesting. Tuesdays, I leave for a couple of hours to go to Financial Peace University at my church. It’s amazing, but totally depressing. Thank you for telling me how broke I am. Which I already knew. But anyways. I get home to my youngest and her two friends sitting on the couch in the living room watching a movie.

Me: “So how did it go tonight?”

Husband: “Well, I heard little miss tell her friends to make out with the wall.”

Me: choking, “what?!”

Little miss: trying not to smile to show that yes, she said that.

Me: “What would you think if you walked into the living room and saw me making out with the wall? Would you perhaps think that was awkward? Would you feel weird seeing me do that?”

Little miss and her friends: “yes.”

Me: “Then don’t tell someone to make out with a wall! That’s strange and awkward. Nobody wants to see that.”

Husband: “Then I heard little miss talk about kissing each other.”

Me: “Um. Okay. Girls. It’s never okay to pretend to kiss one another. Again, that’s awkward. Kissing is for when you are married. Or you kiss your moms and dads. No kissing. No kissing. No kissing.”

Note to self…maybe tone back on the whole kissing my husband and grabbing his ass thing in the middle of the living room…. and here I thought I was just modeling a good marriage…



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