hot mess moms can paint too

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Never buy paint drunk… no I didn’t drive myself there and back….

Since it has been established that I am unorganized and a hot mess. Now just imagine me moving a family of six. In the heat of summer. It has been interesting to say the least. First of all, I had to get our new home ready.

You see, my mother in law lived in this house before us, okay it’s her house, but she can’t take care of it anymore so we are moving in to take over. It is now our home. Not hers. To make sure I didn’t feel like I was moving into my mother in law’s house, which it smelled like her and still had her stuff in it, I completely repainted the WHOLE house all by myself. After spending some time packing her stuff and donating what she no longer wanted, I went shopping.

Buying paint colors is probably one of the hardest things to do. At first, I just grabbed whatever caught my eye. A grass green for the bathroom, pink for my youngest daughter, bright blue for my middle son, bright green for my oldest son, and teal for my teenage daughter. But that was the easy part. The hard part was picking colors for the kitchen, living room, and our master bedroom. I wanted something dark and sexy for our bedroom. So I went to the only place that inspires me…. Pinterest. There I found bedrooms in dark charcoal full of dreamy class. Bedroom: check. Now the living room. My husband wanted something like… tan. I mean tan? Seriously? We have BRIGHT GREEN bathrooms for crying out loud. And you want tan? So to compromise I went to my favorite place for inspiration: Pinterest. And there it was greige! You’re reading that right, it’s a blend of grey and beige. Umm… it’s amazing. Living room: check. Now the kitchen is another story. I have dark cabinets with yellow appliances, yeah… it’s that old, and a faux leather yellow counter top that resembles skin (yuck!). It’s truly hideous. ~insert sad face~ So I went with a bright blue called Well Water. I was so in love with this color!! But of course, my husband was like, “But babe, our kitchen table is green. Why didn’t you go with green?” ~insert disappointed face~ Fine! So I went for paint a third time and chose a very light green, almost white called Cucumber Peal. And I am so glad I did. I LOVE it!! My kitchen has a country chic feel and after I change the hardware on the cabinets, get new appliances and counter tops I will have a kitchen of my dreams! ~tired, broke face~

Once I had my colors picked out FINALLY, I was pretty excited and got right down to work. However, because my mother in law was a smoker in the house, I had to prime the ceilings and walls of the WHOLE house with Kilz before I could do anything. It was AWFUL! I don’t know if you have ever painted a ceiling before, but let me tell you this, my arms and back are buff now. I seriously lost 10 pounds from painting the ceilings and walls white. I also learned a lot about painting through this experience. Here is what I can pass on to you:

  1. never buy paint drunk (I did that and now have very bright green bathrooms that my sweet husband says are amazing)
  2. never paint without taping off first, no matter what the fancy paint brushes say, they will bleed
  3. wear safety glasses when painting a ceiling, that shit burns
  4. make sure your ladder is stable before setting a paint tray on the end of it, when it falls, there’s no fixing the floor (sad to say, this did happen but on tile so I just scraped it off afterwards)
  5. always lay a paint tarp down, not the thin plastic kind because it bunches up and gets stuck to your bare feet causing all kinds of problems
  6. when painting bare foot know that you will not need a pedicure anytime soon because your nails will be every color under the sun, or whatever you are painting with
  7. make sure you observe your surroundings before moving the ladder, otherwise you could be setting it down into your paint tray, yes this happened as well
  8. always paint ceilings first, otherwise the paint sprays and drips all over your freshly painted walls which will require touch up
  9. don’t think that because you are painting all of your trim, door frames, doors, and window frames with Kilz that you are done, nope that paint drys in a matte finish and leaves streaks as it dries; you will need real white paint
  10. and last but not least drink lots of wine when you are finished… lots and lots of wine

It took me two and a half weeks but I painted every strip of trim, window frame, door frame, and doors in this ranch style home. It’s a modest house, not huge but I have never painted before in my life. NEVER! Here’s my damage: I painted the ceilings in the kitchen, living room, two bathrooms, hall way, and master bedroom. The two little bedrooms for our youngest two kiddos didn’t have any smoke damage but the walls were a hot mess so they needed to be primed first. Then I had to paint all the rooms with color. That is a total of seven rooms!!!!!!!! Not including hall ways. I seriously painted my life away. I am still getting paint out of my hair and I haven’t lifted a paint brush in a week! ~sigh~ But you know what, I did it. I did it all by myself.

Ladies, we love our husbands, but sometimes it’s hard to light a fire under their tushy to get them moving. So, I modeled what I wanted done and just got to work. And believe it or not, my husband was so impressed with me and my hard work, it made him hot for me. HAHAHAHAHA!! Seriously!! Every day he was like, “Baby! I am so impressed! This looks amazing! You spackled the wall AND sanded it? I didn’t even know you knew what that stuff was! You did both of these ceilings today? You are so fast!” These are quotes from my husband’s mouth.

Yes hunny, I can’t help but be so bad ass.

If only I wasn’t such a hot mess.

More to come on our adventures of moving a family of six in the hot, hot summer days.

Love to all,

Jessie

P.S. The Well Water paint did not go to waste, at 33 bucks a gallon I would not allow it! It is now the color of the teen space in the basement. We painted the concrete walls with it and it is truly tranquil. So teen space: check!

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