Honesty is the best policy

sit-down

I have taught my kids that being honest is more important than anything. I can’t stand it when they lie.

Me: Did you brush your teeth?

Middle son: Yes, you can feel my toothbrush.

Me: Nah, I want to smell your breath. *sniff* You did NOT brush your teeth son.

Middle son: Yes I did! Feel my toothbrush!

Me: Getting your toothbrush wet does not mean you brushed your teeth. Do it again. I will set the timer for 2 minutes and I will watch.

I mean I can’t stand that! Yet, sometimes kids can be brutally honest.

For example, yesterday after picking up my two littles from summer school, I decided we should clean out our 20 dollar KMart blow up pool. It’s rained a lot and trees were literally growing in it. After I slammed a glass of wine, I squeezed into my bathing suit. My youngest was really interested in spraying the fungus off the bottom of the pool while slipping and falling in the slime. I slammed another glass of wine and pointed out the spots she missed. We were both having a blast…me drinking my favorite wine in the sun… and little miss enjoying some water play. After I rinsed the slime off of her, we filled the pool. As you know, water from the hose, no matter what time of year, shocks the breath right out of you. But I was determined to have fun with my little girl. So I got in. Little miss, trembling with goosebumps, tries to tell me that the water isn’t cold. “You will get used to it momma.” More wine please. And I’m in. It was ridiculous. I couldn’t breathe. The water was ice. Should I have worried about hyperthermia? Or is it hypothermia? Whatever, I kept checking my toes and fingers for frost bite. No complaints, but I did threaten that if she poured water on me in any way or splashed, I was out. I wanted to get used to it s.l.o.w.l.y. And then it happens…

Little miss: Ew! What’s that?

Me: What?

Little miss: That!! (She points to the mole on my chest)

Me: That’s my mole!

Little miss: Ew! That’s creepy! Why do you have that?

Me: Girl, that’s how I was made. It’s not gross!

Little miss: Ew! You have hair there! (pointing to my armpits)

Me: Oh stop, it’s just armpit hair. You will get it some day.

Little miss: Never! You need to trim it. It’s LONG!

Me: Listen, today was shave day but I didn’t take a shower… so get over it.

Little miss: Shave day? For everyone?

Me: Um… sure. I’ll catch the next one.

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